I'm Miss M. Here are some of my Online Dating tips, backed up by my sometimes hilarious, and often disconcerting stories…
So a few flirty texts and a happy profile picture led me to believe that my first ever Internet date would be my last. My last “first” date that is, but with many other dates; second, third, fourth, marriage, to follow. As you’ve read, and I’ve sadly experienced, I was wrong. But why in the world did Mr Drainer want to see me again?
Before you scream: He was just saying that to be nice!
Let me correct you. Because he actually followed through. That night after a long hot shower, washing away my broken hopes, I was surprised to find I’d received a text from him saying, “That was even more fun than I thought it would be. Lets (no apostrophe, grrr!) do it again soon. Xx” Again with the wasted virtual kisses!
My first feeling was utter bewilderment. And the second was disgrace.
How boring did he think our date would be?!
And therein lies the answer. With over a year of Online experience (or so he told me) he’d probably been on many more disastrous dates than the one we shared. I’m not saying I’m the biggest bundle of laughs, but I’m sure I put in more effort to deal with his drainer ways than most people would’ve.
This guy has probably sat through many awkward silences, impromptu mean arguments, and chicks fleeing only to leave him with the bill. So if he averaged out all his dates, I was probably sitting somewhere in the top five. Amazing.
But what was I (Miss Naive) expecting?
Laughs, sparks, and a kiss. Laughs and sparks are hard enough… But I learnt you DEFINITELY should NOT go into a first Internet date expecting any physical romance. In fact, it’s not even a date, it’s a first meeting. In normal life, if you kiss someone on your first meeting you’re either drunk, high, paying for it, or experiencing love at first sight. (Does it exist? I so badly want to believe it does!)
These first dates are not designed to set your heart aflutter. Sigh. They’re meant to give you an idea of who you’re dealing with. If you find yourself mildly amused, it’s probably worth seeing them again. And if you feel a little spark, consider yourself lucky. I know I sound jaded, but this is the reality of the situation.
It’s so easy for our minds to get carried away and create the image of our perfect spouse and perfect first date. But it’s important to open our eyes and see what’s actually in front of us. If it’s not enough, don’t be disappointed. Just move on.
So can we really blame Mr Drainer for not living up to my expectations?
But are we going to?
No. Because I am responsible for my own Online dating experience. The thought of seeing him again made me want to cry, so I politely declined his offer and fled to India for a few weeks. FYI – The trip was planned long before the date. Come on people, this isn’t “Eat. Pray. Love.”
I was disheartened, but I erased all thoughts of pashing in the rain (yep, that’s my secret fantasy) and decided to get back on the horse… Hoping to pash in the rain somewhere down the track!
What happened next?
I learnt that some people are so creepy that even low expectations aren’t enough to deal with them. Yep, my next story is a doozy. But I’m glad it happened.