Hearts Online

I'm Miss M. Here are some of my Online Dating tips, backed up by my sometimes hilarious, and often disconcerting stories…

Tip #1: Use an Accurate Profile Picture, Please!


Seriously people, what are we trying to achieve here? Do we want an Internet boyfriend/ girlfriend to love and cherish us for our perfect profile picture – never to meet the hot messes we truly are?!


So let’s get real and put up pictures that represent US. And I’m not just talking physically. I once heard an amazingly overused cliche about a picture telling… What was it? Like, a hundred words or something? I think it was a thousand… Yes.

So these thousand words would cover more than hair colour, skin condition and boob size. They’d describe our personalities too… How big do we smile? Do we always have an alcoholic beverage in hand? Do our eyes sparkle? Are they kind of squinty? Do we hold our heads up high? Or is too hard to  because our nine cats are squishing us? Are we inclined to take the occasional selfie?

All these details are much more important than hair colour if you ask me. So choose your picture wisely. I’m still old school, and I believe that if you’re going to find a mutual attraction, it won’t happen until you meet. So for me, the profile picture is about setting expectations for that first meeting.

Disappointment is the devil. So let’s not go cray cray with a glamour photo shoot… Unless you’re planning on bringing the production crew to your first date…

Why do I feel so passionately about this?

Because I had to learn the hard way – and I wasn’t the perpetrator!

Want to hear the first date story from hell? Well, stay tuned… Oh, and to contextualise it, this is the story of my first ever Internet date. Oh, and it just happened to take place the day after my best bud’s engagement party, when I was in my most vulnerable state: hungover as hell, and really clucky for an engagement party of my own.


8 comments on “Tip #1: Use an Accurate Profile Picture, Please!

  1. Hugh Johnson
    September 19, 2013

    ‘Tilla, I don’t believe you writed “Yikes”
    and I mean writed too!

  2. Pingback: Date #1: Mr Drainer | Hearts Online

  3. Pingback: Tip #2: Manage Your Expectations | Hearts Online

  4. Pingback: Tip#2: Don’t Let Your Expectations Run Wild | Hearts Online

  5. Pingback: Date#2: Mr Sex Pest | Hearts Online

  6. Pingback: Tip#3: Follow Your Gut | Hearts Online

  7. Pingback: Meeting Mr Drunk | Hearts Online

  8. Pingback: Tip#5: This Ain’t the Time to Booty Call | Hearts Online

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This entry was posted on September 19, 2013 by in The Beginnings... and tagged , , , , , .
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