I'm Miss M. Here are some of my Online Dating tips, backed up by my sometimes hilarious, and often disconcerting stories…
Putting my heart online was NOT an easy step to take. I’d actually been considering (and boring my friends and colleagues) with the idea for about a year before I actually did it.
I’m not sure why it took me so long… By then, the taboo had been lifted in Australia, which usually happens five years after the rest of the world. But I guess I was riddled with personal fears I had to deal with first…
Personal Fear #1:
Am I giving up on the hope that I might have my very own Romantic Comedy moment?!
Does this mean I no longer believe a handsome random will accidentally spill his orange juice on me in the middle of the street? And I’ll say something charming like, “Don’t worry, men spill their juice on me all the time…”
Does this mean I no longer believe my ideal combination of HUNK and NERD will go for the exact same book as me at the library… At the exact same time?
Get over it!
Internet Dating doesn’t mean we have to stay locked up inside, never to visit a street or library again. The above scenarios are still possible… Yay.
Personal Fear #2:
Am I too uninteresting to meet someone in real life?!
Does this mean I’ve failed to draw the opposite sex to me (for more than just an empty tryst)? Sure, we’ve done it in the past, but let’s just ignore our previously failed relationships for the sake of maintaining sanity. But don’t worry they’ll come back up, because as I’ve noticed, some online daters can’t talk about ANYTHING except for their exes… Stay Tuned!
Anyway, back to Personal Fear #2 – Do I need to stick myself up on ebay for love to sell the fact I live a meaningful life and would make a pretty damn awesome partner?
Get over it!
Stores that sell their products online don’t have crappier products. Business people who do their businessy things online aren’t less competent. Writers who publish online AREN’T less talented… So dating online doesn’t mean we’re gross. Yay.
Personal Fear #3:
Will I meet complete freaks?!
This one is pretty self-explanitory, and so is the answer…
Get over it!
We meet freaks everywhere we go. That’s life, and that’s what keeps it interesting. We need to trust our judgement, and know it’ll be better than at 2am after a half-dozen martinis. And who knows… One day, the people we date might see US as the freaks – and that’s okay too.
So if a freak does come along, deal with them accordingly and store the story in the memory bank to laugh about at BBQs. Yay.
The Final Step:
Ultimately, what I had to realise is that I need to open up my world. This isn’t a judgement on how attractive or dateable I am – it’s the reality of my wonderful life. My mates are mates, my colleagues are my colleagues, and unfortunately, handsome randoms aren’t waiting for me at every street corner (in a non-prostitute way). So I jumped online and promised myself I’d keep an open mind and open heart.
It’s been interesting. I’ve learnt A LOT about men and dating, and even more about myself. So if you’re “umm”ing and “ahh”ing about it, just do it. If you keep your head on your shoulders and hold tightly to your sense of humour, you really do have nothing to lose.
I was once embarrassed, and here I am… BLOGGING about it. Oh, how far we’ve come…